Review of Rebel Moon Part One: A Child of Fire — Ersatz Star Wars is a huge disappointment.

It takes longer than necessary to just register the title of Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon — Part One: A Child of Fire. Nevertheless, the film establishes its premise quickly. The iconic “scroll,” a scrolling narrative that provided the viewer the backstory of the next space opera, opened Star Wars in 1977. We now begin with a voiceover-delivered prologue that is akin to the previous one, detailing another intergalactic power struggle. It’s clear that things have improved. You don’t have to read! Combine it with the other inventive works of Snyder, the man-of-man filmmaker of 300, Batman v. Superman, and other films. While promoting the movie, the 57-year-old director talked about how George Lucas’s blockbuster altered his life when he was 11 years old and how he’s wanted to play around with the formula ever since. The result, kindly subsidized by Netflix, is exactly what an 11-year-old boy would do if asked to offer Lucas some advice. An evil empire and a band of misfit heroes? held onto. Character growth? I’ll see you later. Bludgeoning aggression? load scenes, frequently in erratic slow motion. And this time, no kissing? Cut to space farmers.

Scenes of quasi-medieval tilling would make you suspect a jab in the ribs if the movie weren’t so cynical. In any case, British actor Ed Skrein interrupts the harvest in the role of a villain from the “Imperium,” coming to take bushels without paying a reasonable price. Amidst the consequences, Sofia Boutella, a proud farmer, rebels. This ignites a 134-minute insurrection that requires the employment of a group of desperate people. Anthony Hopkins isn’t given much to do, but this is just part one. Given that he only provided the voice of a C-3PO-style robot with flowers all around his head, the actor may be hoping that no one will recognize him. Similar to everything else in this musk-filled, lumpen movie, the outcome isn’t as enjoyable as it sounds.